GABBY: Mom, what’s a domestic battery?
JULIE: Why do you ask?
GABBY: Well, I’m looking for something for my argumentative essay, and I read that this person was arrested. And it says “domestic battery.”
JULIE: Okay… well: sometimes, people who live in the same house get in fights. And when they become physical, then […]
While we were visiting Jill over Christmas break, she bought new picture frames for her living room shelves. One morning before Jill woke up, Dave and I replaced the stock photos that came with the frames with a series of these black-and-white selfies.
Right now there are two reasons Dave is awesome:
He does […]
-Cammy has begun getting up earlier than necessary, taking a shower and getting ready for school– then going back to sleep so that he almost misses his bus every morning. Today I calmly explained the ineffectiveness of this model, expecting his usual early-morning, surly-teenager response. Cam surprised me by saying cheerfully, “Hmmm….. I hear […]
Addie J told me this morning that, for Halloween this year, she’d like to be an ostrich. (Last year she brought up the ostrich, and when I encouraged her to think of something else, she said maybe a ferret. This is what I’m dealing with here.) “The ostrich is my spirit animal,” […]
GABBY: Mom, is your mixtape fuego?
JULIE: ……Yes. My mixtape is totally fuego.
-So I might have just agreed to do something I don’t want to do? Or signed a confession because I didn’t understand the language? Help me out here.
JULIE: Gabby, did you finish your Edmodo thing?
GABBY: …. um…..
JULIE: Gabz! You told me days ago that you would do it!
GABBY: Mom, it doesn’t have to be complete until tonight. It takes two seconds anyway.
JULIE: What? You want to wait until the last minute to complete something because you think […]
I picked up Cam from school today and, as he walked into the house ahead of me, I noticed that his pants– which almost touched the ground when I bought them in the fall– were now approaching his ankles. “Are you growing, again?” I said. “Come stand in the mirror with me.” And indeed, […]
Still feel like I don’t have enough…..
Is anyone else so obsessed with say, jumbo-size 6×8 Post-It notes, that they sought out a source and coerced the secretary of their department to order them in bulk? And is now considering hoarding them all in a seldom-used file drawer in the office, so […]
This is from about the time that I teased Dad until he threw out his food and left the room. (Now that I have a teenager, I totally get that.) Also, as ever: please enjoy Dad’s mustache, which he probably grew that morning.
Almost nothing grossed Dad out. I mean, you know how […]
Dave and I had been together for 9 months when he asked me to marry him (side note: this worked out obviously– but it seems impossibly, unadvisedly soon for us to have taken such a big step. Yet no one in our lives said anything. Sometimes I look back, amazed that we didn’t catch […]