Spider Update: All is Well.

JULIE: Oh, hey! I wrote you a haiku. It’s about your bringing me a surprise Burrito Bowl, and also about your new work car. Want to hear it?

DAVE: ……..No.

JULIE: Okay, here it is:

Chipotle? Thank you, Dave!

And also, FYI:

I’ll pick out the car.

DAVE [pauses, then shakes his head […]

    Good News and Bad News

    Lots of you are wondering what happened with Spider Car 2014. The short, terrifying story is that the spider has not yet been found. However, karma has decided to reward me for that time I let the kids eat my Chipotle, because Dave got a notification that it’s almost New Work Car Time […]

      Little Miss Muffet

      That’s what Gabby was calling me this morning. You see, I had a near-death experience last night while driving to work. A spider– A SPIDER– suddenly crawled across the inside of the windshield right in front of me. I was on the freeway at the time, and I briefly considered heading straight off the road […]

        Look at This Kid.

        This is the five-year-old who sat on the sidelines and poured dirt onto his head during tee-ball games.

        This is the seven-year-old who who came over for water during halftime at basketball, and asked me when the game would be over.

        This is the nine-year-old who ran out of steam halfway through his […]

          The Reincarnation of Guido Continues…..

          Dad on the left at age 12, Cam on the right at age thirteen.

            Gabby Came Home From School With a Rabbit’s Foot.

            That’s right: she brought home a rabbit’s foot. Isn’t that nice?

            …Except that, in this case, we aren’t talking about the fake-fur, purple-dyed keychain from a tourist shop. Gabby literally found the decaying leg of a rabbit, complete with bits of fur as well as exposed bone, at the playground. Somehow she contrived to […]

              Wednesday’s Weird Non Sequitur

              [It’s important to know, for the purposes of this post, that we have a sharp little silver hatchet– which we use to trim the trunks of our Christmas trees, so that they fit into the stand. We do not use it at any other time. Because I think it’s cute and I like its […]

                Confidential to Whoever Keeps Leaving Smudged Fingerprints on the Refrigerator:

                I’m certain you live here, therefore you are fully aware that I cannot stand smudgy surfaces. You are also aware that, when we bought our fridge last year, I rejected the first two refrigerators that were delivered– because I wasn’t satisfied with the finish. Let me repeat: I refused delivery of TWO refrigerators. That […]

                  Christmas Lists (Already???)

                  My mother-in-law, Kathy, requested Christmas lists from the kids over the weekend. I was working last night, so the kids made their lists on their own. This morning I sent all of the info to Kathy, almost without explanation because 1. She already knows which items are fine and which are ridic; and 2. […]

                    Oh No.

                    Um… I am sitting at my computer at home, and I just discovered that someone here searched “can dogs have apple juice.”

                    If you need me, I have to go walk the dog for about three hours.

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