Here’s a hypothetical: if your husband is out of town and you must bring your daughters along to parent-teacher conferences….. and one of your daughters is acting like a total psycho, much to your embarrassment…. and the other one catches the crazy just as her teacher is telling you how well-behaved she is in […]

    Drop Everything and Read…

    This tranquil scene does not remotely represent the mayhem of this morning.

    DEAR (which for some reason, I persist in calling DARE which makes Cameron insaaaaaane) took place this morning at Cam and Gabby’s school.  It is simultaneously a great, fun activity– and an hour of torture.  Here are some highlights:

    *Gabby took “Drop Everything […]

      Addie’s preschool progress…

      JULIE: Addie J, Grandma said you were a good girl at school this week! ADDIE: I did!!!! JULIE: I’m so proud of you! ADDIE: I’m so pwoud of YOU! JULIE: See how fun it is at school when you behave? ADDIE: YES!!! JULIE: So what did you do at school that was fun? ADDIE […]

        So close again…

        Cam was telling me about his day at school. He began, “Mr. Torkelson mistaked me for someone else…” At this point I interrupsted to say, ” ‘Mistook,’ Cammy.” He gave me a look and replied, “No, it was Mr. Torkelson for sure!”

        Also, I learned this morning that, according to Addie J, “clothes” is […]


          I had to go to the office early this morning.  And Dave just gave me a synopsis, over the phone ,of Gabby’s outfit for the day.  To everyone who works at her school, or might see her at any point today: I WASN’T HOME.  I HAD NO PART IN THIS […]

            An Open Letter to the Director of Addie J’s Preschool aka My Mom:

            Dear Mrs. Director:

            You may have oversold this morning’s “performance” a bit.  After you said there would be some singing and dancing, I was expecting some singing and dancing from the kids.  Instead I got exuberant singing and dancing from the teachers, lots of random activity from the ensemble, a couple of confused-looking preschoolers about 1/2 […]

              Save Me From Myself.

              I was helping Cam with his homework tonight; he was working on homophones, which are words that sound the same, but are spelled differently.  And the entire time, I realized later, I was calling them “homophobes.”  I was only marginally cheered by the sight of this tshirt, which proves that I’m not the only […]

                2009 H1N1 Watch Update:

                Gabby, as it turns out, does NOT have the flu as we had feared.  She’s just got some other raging virus that is keeping her up all night coughing, making her voice raspy, and making her feel– in her words– “a little less crazy than regular.”  This is perhaps my favorite description of illness ever.

                Given […]


                  I picked Addie J up from preschool this morning.  When her teacher saw me, she started laughing and shaking her head.  I said, “Oh, God.  What does that mean?”  and she really didn’t answer me.

                  I’m just assuming that their Christmas gifts are going to have to kick some serious ass.

                    Why is it…

                    Cameron was doing some homework tonight, in which he had to write sentences containing alliteration, onomatopeia, rhymes, metaphors etc.  Dave was helping him come up with sentences, and I noticed they were all like this:

                    Cameron took a duke/ And it made me want to puke

                    Cam’s burp was as loud as a bomb […]

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