Dave’s Gonna Get His.

JULIE: So anyway… what’s wrong? Are you trying not to laugh?

[Dave bursts into laughter.]

JULIE: What? What the hell? What is so funny about me, telling you about tonight’s departmental meeting?

DAVE [still laughing]: Oh my god, you don’t even know.

JULIE: WHAT?!?

DAVE [between snickers]: You walked in here, sat on my […]


    First Official Day Back….

    ……And we have already devolved into a hot mess of Miserable Schoolwork Fail. There have been tears, recriminations, yelling, falls from chairs, lack of pencils with erasers, lack of pencils in general, missing library books– and no one in this house remembers simple multiplication anymore, including me.

    Awesome.

     


      Guest Post: Brought to You By My Friend Ann’s Son, Ian

      Ian is a lively, strapping young 4-year-old boy whose main goal in life– which he takes very seriously– is keeping up with his big brother. He is also the child who, last year, got into my Advent calendar at our Christmas brunch. He was found lying on the floor in my dining room, nearly […]


        Addie-ism

        Addie J came running into the house after school today. I said, “Hi! How was school?” And she answered, while sprinting toward the bathroom, “I can’t take your call right now- please leave a message BEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!”

        So I played along: “Hi Addie, this is Mommy. I just wanted to talk to you about your […]


          Room Parent Meeting Redux: This One I Attended.

          Here’s a wrap-up for you, courtesy of the conversation Jill and I had at lunch:

          JILL: Did Lila behave at the room parent meeting?

          JULIE: Yeah. She did sneeze all over the table, though.

          JILL: Yeah, she’ll do that. What did they think of the treat bag idea?

          JULIE: Didn’t really go over.

          JILL: […]


            Note to Self:

            When you have completed an intense workout in the early morning, please WAIT UNTIL YOU’VE COOLED DOWN before getting dressed after your shower. Or– for the millionth time this school year– you can enjoy once again sweating through your button-down and having to reshower, then iron something else in the twenty minutes during which […]


              Update on My Stellar Head Room Mom Skillz:

              Forgot to attend the first meeting.

              It was yesterday. While the meeting was going on, I believe I was engaged in a discussion with a work colleague about whether to project realistic stars or cartoon-like stars for our upcoming production (yes, this is the kind of conversation I have on the regular). […]


                The Difference Between Cameron and Gabby is…

                …That, when Cam mentioned that he would be dissecting a frog in science class, Gabby was extremely disturbed. She and I talked at length about animal cruelty, and how the frogs were captured and killed, and whether frogs should die just for a science class. I suspect that her distress may stem from the baby toad […]


                  Less Than Awesome: the Online Clip Edition

                  Less " Zombie" and more "Cold sores and beard stubble." There's a lot of this going around the Interwebs.

                  All you really need to know here is that I just spent a solid hour looking for just the right clip on special effects makeup to show to my class, specifically age and ethnicity, […]


                    Room Mom Fever.

                    Every year, I sign up to be a Room Parent for my kids’ classes. And every year, so many other moms sign up that I don’t even always get the chance to attend the parties (just ask my son. He’s got the memory of an elephant for how many times I have been prevented […]


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