You Know What Happens When You Assume…

They look so innocent, right? ….No.

Yesterday, the kids and I were out walking the dog. Neither one of them wore gloves, and this should not come as a shock: my kids spend the winter dressed for balmy summer afternoons and I don’t understand it. I have to fight with them to wear […]


    What. The Hell.

    These things have all happened within the past twenty minutes:

    1. Gabby used a dishtowel to clean up the water that Guinness just puked all over the floor. You can imagine my totally horrified and disgusted reaction. I said, “Have you ever used a dishtowel to clean up puke before?? And which towels did you […]


      Sometimes, I Am Just Not Up to the Task.

      I found this in the kids’ bathroom:


        Glimpses

        Sometimes, one of the kids will say something, or do something– or sometimes I’ll just look over at them– and I realize that I’m getting a glimpse of who they will be when they’re adults. The other day, Addie J was sitting in a chair, Guinness in her lap, watching TV. She looked back at […]


          Merry Christmas!

          I took this photo at the exact instant when Dave became overwhelmed by the sheer effort it takes to remove a Barbie from its packaging. I keep pulling it back up and laughing out loud.

          We are midway through our holiday celebrations, and so far all systems are go. Some highlights:

          Here’s an […]


            No Respect.

            JULIE [on phone]: Yeah… I know, I’m actually in much better shape than I was ten years ago. But then I’ll be like, “Damn it- look at that chick with the perfect body over there, harshing my buzz.”

            CAM: Whoa. Mom.

            JULIE: Hold on– what, Cam?

            CAM: Nothing. Just what you just said.

            JULIE: […]


              Keepsake

              I was idly reading through Cam’s vocab homework sentences: “Some people deem it a dumb idea to skateboard;” “The Greeks idolized many different gods.” Then I stopped short: “Before my grandpa died,” wrote Cam,” he gave me a model car as a keepsake.” And at first I thought, well, that’s not exactly true: last Christmas, it […]


                Suspicious.

                [Cam and Gabby are upstairs. Ostensibly, Cam is reading and Gabby is putting away her laundry.]

                [Wild laughter upstairs.]

                CAM: Oh my gosh!!!!! Look at it!

                GABBY: NO WAY! Cam, grab it!! Grab it before it gets away!

                CAM [in growly monster voice]: I am a tiny person and you are in big– [trails […]


                  Things That Make My Day.

                  Remember the movie Megamind, where Will Ferrell as the evil mastermind cannot pronounce everyday words like “school?” He also doesn’t know how to answer his phone. Check it, at about 10 seconds in:

                  Somehow, answering the phone with, “Ollo!!” has become what we do in our house. I can’t explain or defend it… […]


                    It’s Like Dave’s Genes Just Sat This One Out.

                    You know how I’m always saying that Cameron is like my dad’s identical twin? Check this out:


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