Call in a specialist?

I just found a half-finished worksheet of Cammy’s from Thanksgiving, detailing the things he is thankful for.  I’m trying to figure out whether I’ve gone horribly wrong as a parent, or if I’m fine but Cammy is addicted to crystal meth:

WE ARE THANKFUL FOR:

1. Umbrellas

2. Chicken

3. Hairy Monkies

4. Race Cars

[…]


    Points to Ponder:

    When kids are standing in the bathroom, and they realize they’re about to throw up, why do they then immediately run to a room that is carpeted and throw up on the floor?  Does it have anything to do with the reason a 14-year-old dog lying on the kitchen floor will suddenly jump up […]


      Favorite Things for Wednesday….

      ~Addie J’s lisp, and the way she asked me tonight if, tomorrow, we could “Thtay home and chill out.”

      ~The fact that Cameron thinks we somehow can’t hear him playing games on his Zune after we send him to bed. 

      ~The fact that, some night soon, I’m going to sneak upstairs and catch him in the […]


        Are You There, God? It’s Me, Julie…..

        This is an artist's rendition of what happens at my house during a game of Memory. I may or may not be represented by Beavis.

        …I’ve got just a couple of things here for you:

        1. Thanks for making me aware of that diner on State Street today.  I had no idea there […]


          Fingerstaches

          This evening, I told the kids all about fingerstaches.   This is the result:

          Please note that Addie J's fingerstache was actually on her left hand. Also, that shirt is way too small.

          Dad update: once his blood pressure rises above the insane 80/41 it was today, he gets to come home.  So if you […]


            Here are the reasons I am a terrible mom:

            "Get your ass back to that piano!! An A-minus is not an A!!!"

            ~According to Cam, I am a terrible mom because I don’t let him stay up until 10pm on a school night.

            Also, I make him do his hair instead of going to school with bedhead.

            Also, sometimes I call him […]


              Gullibility

              This looks hilariously similar to Dave when he's mad.

              This morning, Dave and I successfully convinced Cameron and Gabby that Dave used to be a pirate.  Strangely, it wasn’t even that hard.  It came up when Cam asked Dave if his ear was pierced, and Dave replied, “Yeah, back when I was a pirate […]


                Cam the Entrepreneur

                Cam and his friends have launched a business.  They operate during recess every day at school, and as clearly as I can tell, the business serves the entertainment market: they set up targets at which people can throw things, and then give away prizes to the top scorers.   

                Up to this point, I can see my […]


                  My Children vs. Socially Appropriate Statements: the Epic Battle

                  You do not even know what I went through to find this image. Imagine what you get when you search the Internet for "Power Balls."

                  I am all too familiar with scenarios wherein my kids say something dreadfully inappropriate in front of me.  (Example: the time Cameron, as a toddler, stood up in […]


                    Hits and Misses

                    Cam has basically said these things to me every ten minutes since Christmas.

                    Today, two days after Christmas, I can see some early front-runners in the game of “Which Gifts Are the Biggest Hit?”  Here are my observations so far:

                    1. Pulse Slither Scooter

                    This appeared next to Cameron’s pile on Christmas morning, and it’s […]


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