“Birth-Father’s Day,” as Cam Called It.

….And no, Cam doesn’t have a foster father or a stepfather or an adoptive father. Yesterday was Dave’s birthday as well as Father’s Day, so Cam combined the two all day. I had asked Dave what he wanted to do yesterday– we were out of town overnight on Friday and would be returning home […]


    Thanksgiving Weekend: a Pictorial Which Contains No Thanksgiving-Related Items

    My family and I spent the weekend in Michigan, watching Gabby compete in the Mid-America Regional Championships. Here’s a visual of how it all went down:

    This is the start of the long weekend. As you can see, everyone is alert, well-rested, and has recently eaten a Thanksgiving dinner.

     

    See? Here […]


      Disconcerting.

      [I’m sitting on a picnic blanket with my book, having finished our lunch including the beef jerky sticks that Gabby insisted we buy for her birthday (obviously I did not eat any beef jerky, gross). The kids are chilling, one with a book and two just talking. Their conversation is just part of the […]


        Bureaucracy: Exhibit B– the Ice Cream Shop

        Important to know: just asking for a brownie sundae is not enough information to get you one of these.

        JULIE [at the drive-thru]: …..and a brownie sundae.

        INTERCOM [as though I’ve asked for a Serenity Surprise or something equally nonspecific]: Do you mean a Brownie Delight?

        JULIE: Is that a brownie sundae?

        INTERCOM: […]


          So We Had Lunch At Five Guys….

          ….and my kids kept echoing all the sentiments all over the walls. As though they were spontaneous original thoughts coming from their brains. “Mom, this is the best $5 burger a man could eat!” Cam told me. “Yeah, these burgers are like heaven on a bun!” chimed in Gabby (who was eating the bacon […]


            On My “This is Not Enjoyable” List….

            … Bringing home Cameron’s friend Jon from the Cubs game, and explaining to his mom that the reason he massively threw up in a Ziploc bag in the car during the ride home was this: my brother Mikey and his friend Andy (who will both get what’s coming to them) instigated a bunch of “eating contests” […]


              Gullibility

              This looks hilariously similar to Dave when he's mad.

              This morning, Dave and I successfully convinced Cameron and Gabby that Dave used to be a pirate.  Strangely, it wasn’t even that hard.  It came up when Cam asked Dave if his ear was pierced, and Dave replied, “Yeah, back when I was a pirate […]


                The devil is in the details.

                JULIE [in line at drive-thru]: Addie J, what do you want on your hot dog?

                ADDIE J: Just ony ketchup!

                JULIE: ….and one with ketchup only, please.

                [A few moments later]

                JULIE: Here you go, J.  Hurry up and eat this, because we have Irish Dance and soccer and–

                ADDIE: Oh, NO!  Mommy, dis is […]


                  Sadly, this is fairly typical.

                  I took the kids out for dinner tonight, and why do I EVER take the kids out for dinner on a school night?!?!  I’d say these are some “highlights–” but that word kinda mocks what really went down.  It was just like, total anarchy from start to finish.

                  [Just sitting down.  Gabby falls out […]


                    Moshi Monsters and Vegan Cupcakes

                    Dear People Who Came Up With Moshi Monsters, an Online Game Where Kids Can Create Their Own Lovable Monster and Then Spend Every Moment of Their Time Caring for This Thing to Keep it Alive:

                    I hate you.

                    Hugs and kisses,

                    Julie

                    ************************

                    Dear Lovely Little Vegan Cafe Where I Bought Two “Chocolate […]


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