I Didn’t Get to Find Out if Heaven Is For Real.

Last night, inspired by Jill’s Facebook photo of their movie snacks, Dave and I made a Redbox visit (and then I posted my own pic of my movie snacks to Facebook. Both my sisters commented, “Your snacks suck balls.” We had apples, strawberries, cucumbers, popcorn, and those sugar-covered orange slices; or, as my brother put it: “Your […]


    The Garden; or, My Newest Obsession

     

    Damn it.

    Have I mentioned the garden? I think I have; this spring, Farmer Dave put in some raised beds so that we could try our hand at growing more than our traditional cherry tomatoes in a giant pot on the patio. Then– because my Davy does nothing halfway– he started about […]


      “Birth-Father’s Day,” as Cam Called It.

      ….And no, Cam doesn’t have a foster father or a stepfather or an adoptive father. Yesterday was Dave’s birthday as well as Father’s Day, so Cam combined the two all day. I had asked Dave what he wanted to do yesterday– we were out of town overnight on Friday and would be returning home […]


        You Knew This Was Going To Happen.

        I was in the kitchen, minding my own business, when I heard a knock at the door. Assuming it was one of the neighborhood kids, I said, “Get that, Gabs?” — and promptly heard a man saying, “Hi! Can you get your dad? I’ve got a delivery here for him?”

        Save […]


          Vegas, Baby.

          MY BROTHER-IN-LAW: When’s Dave get back from Vegas?

          JULIE: Today.

          BIL: He’s gonna be tiiiiired. –Unless he’s been skipping the nightlife and going back to the hotel at the end of the day?

          JULIE: At 3:31 this morning, he texted me a photo of a couple of ladies wearing feathers and glitter, chatting next to a dumpster.

          […]


            Yard Work Update

            See, cuz, like: Dave’s the sheriff.

            DAVE [heading out to lacrosse practice]: Hey, by the way: nice post today.

            JULIE [absently] : Thanks.

            DAVE [meaningful look in JULIE’S direction]:

            JULIE: Oh. Right.

            DAVE [turns to go, chuckling. In high-pitched JULIE voice]: “Ohhhhhhh, I’m going to be ENSLAVED…”

            JULIE [calls after him]: Well, it’s […]


              I Win.

              I just think she’s unbearably cute in her competition dress.

              On my way to a weekend of Irish Dance competition on Friday, I was on the phone with my brother Mike, and he asked where we were headed. I said, “The girls and I are going to a weekend of competitions. Dave and Cam are […]


                Dad’s Voice

                He was so so funny. You just have no idea.

                I hear Dad’s voice in my head all the time. He was such a font of little sayings and phrases, and when I’m stumped as to what to do, one of his phrases will pop into my mind: “Do it and you’re done,” […]


                  Helen Keller, JJ Style

                  Addie J’s performance as Helen Keller in her classroom’s Wax Museum took place this morning. It was completely fabulous. Each child wore a big “Push to Start” button, and when it was pushed, the child recited his or her speech in first person: “Hello. My name is Helen Keller. I was born in Tuscumbia, Alabama…” Their various costumes ranged from an incredible Pocahontas, complete […]


                    Nice Try, Dave.

                    JULIE: Hello?

                    DAVE: Hi! So I’m listening to the radio, and I just heard that women who match their bra to their underwear are happier people.

                    JULIE:

                    DAVE: So I thought you might benefit from that information.

                    JULIE:

                    DAVE: Matching underwear.

                    JULIE: Wrong number. [click]

                     


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