We all know how our online activities dictate, to an extent, the advertisements we see on the sides of our web pages, yes? –Well, I was looking up Olympic coverage this morning, and for my consideration, I was given the following ads:
New dishwashers Cake decorating classes Luxury rehab clinics
Now I ask you: what the hell was Dave […]
PSA: if you buy your sweetheart a Valentine from the drugstore, do yourself a favor and take it out of the bag when you give it. Nothing ruins the moment like a plastic Walgreens bag and a receipt with a Dulcolax coupon on the back.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I’m not that invested in Valentine’s […]
100% accurate rendition of me with braces in the 80s.
[This is a conversation that Dave had with Cameron this morning, on the way to school– proving that the kids really do think everything that happens is because of me.]
DAVE: Hey Cam- so I was thinking. The lacrosse season is over […]
I definitely heard my parents swearing while I was growing up; an under-the-breath “Damn it!!” sounds suuuuuuper familiar even now. But while Mom and Dad weren’t saints, neither were they sailors: the occasional “shit” was the most off-color their language became.
Or so I thought.
I was a grown-ass adult, married to Dave, when he […]
Blue Steel, Dave’s hideously-colored work car, is officially out of our lives. Dave brought home its descendant today, in a non-eyeball-searing charcoal grey. Fine by me. I narrowly avoided having Lucky the Evil Leprechaun sitting in my driveway for the next millennium.
Clearly we can no longer call the car Blue Steel (and let […]
So, the mobile site doesn’t appear to be working properly. The desktop version is fine; but if you try to pull up the mobile site, WordPress thinks you’re trying to make 7,000 comments at once or something, or something, or something else I don’t know this is Dave’s department. (I did install some […]
My family and I spent the weekend in Michigan, watching Gabby compete in the Mid-America Regional Championships. Here’s a visual of how it all went down:
This is the start of the long weekend. As you can see, everyone is alert, well-rested, and has recently eaten a Thanksgiving dinner.
See? Here […]
This is the exact pamphlet Dave received. I tried to read it, but it is 1000% more boring than that cover promises.
DAVE [drops an envelope on Julie’s desk]: Look what I got.
JULIE [examining handwritten address]: Who sent you this?
DAVE: Did you notice the address?
JULIE: …Oh. It’s addressed to your mom’s […]
I was minding my own business at work, when I got a phone call from Dave. “Got ten minutes?” he asked. “I thought I’d drive by the new car lot and take a look at the colors. I plan to submit my order this afternoon.”
I looked around me: at that moment, I had nineteen […]
A few years ago, Dave’s company car, a Chrysler 300, was replaced with a Ford Fusion. I had loved the Chrysler, but was slightly mollified by the fact that Dave’s car was going to be brand-new from the factory. Therefore, he even got to customize the Fusion to an extent, including his choice of […]