Gabby’s Artwork, Continued…

Gabby brought home this drawering from school today.  I asked her what it was, and she replied, “We had to make a Dr. Seuss character.  So I made a superhero.  His super-power is farting.  See how it says “Stink” all around him?  That’s because he’s been farting and it stinks.”

Or “stingcs,” as the […]


    Why??

    I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this here, but the J is obsessed with my boobs.  She always has been– she likes to lay her head on them and push them together to see if they spring back and ask me loudly what they are in public places, etc.  So today I was holding […]


      Two Things I Found Out at Expectation Night at the Kids' School:

      1. I can fit comfortably into a third-grade desk chair.

      2. It’s not cool to spring lightly to my feet, turn to the hugely tall guy crammed into the chair next to mine, and chuckle, “Need some help out of there?” at the end of Expectation Night.  That guy doesn’t think I’m funny at […]


        Hot Mess of the Week: Dave

        Yeah, I know. I am really, really lax at picking a Hot Mess. That’s probably because I’m such a Hot Mess half the time…. anyway, Dave is my Hot Mess of the Week, because of the following anecdote, as related to me by Cam and Dave at dinner this evening:

        CAM: Can I go […]


          Billy Bubble, Take 3

          Remember Gabby’s betta fish, Billy Bubble, who magically changed colors not long ago while Gabby was out of the house, as though he somehow were a completely different fish? As though we had, for some unknown reason such as the death of Billy I, replaced the original Billy Bubble with a new Billy Bubble, […]


            An Apology…

            …To the congregation of St. Jude’s Church. Or at least, the ones who attended 9am Mass this morning. I am so sorry that I had a case of church giggles the entire time… but it really wasn’t my fault. The following things happened:

            1. A gentleman with a very loud voice began singing. Addie […]


              Three Sides to Every Story

              4:45AM, from my point of view:

              [sleeping]

              [sleeping]

              [some sort of noise downstairs]

              [hear odd little chirp; notice Dave isn’t in bed]

              [basement door opening and closing]

              [sound of dog’s paws, running around]

              [some sort of activity downstairs]

              [toilet flushing]

              [odd little chirp]

              [toilet flushing]

              [toilet flushing]

              [more activity]

              At this point I wandered […]


                The Map

                Gabby drew this map today and brought it to me, incredibly pleased with herself. I took a look at all the angry-looking black crayon, mentally braced myself, and said, “What is this map, Gabs?”

                Let’s start at the house. “This is our house. The top was on fire and I had to leave,” she […]


                  More Hot Mess-isms

                  At the library, while sitting angelically in a chair, with her little pigtails and her little shirt with the rainbow on it and her little pink sandals, just the picture of Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice, Addie J suddenly shifted to one side and farted. Really rattled her seat. Loudly– to anyone […]


                    Hot Mess of the Week: Addie J (again)

                    Addie J and I were making the rounds, to various Targets and Office Depots in the area, looking for more Harry Potter folders for Cam. (We have Ravenclaw and Slytherin; anyone who knows where I can find Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, please let me know. I will totally buy you the Frappuccino of your choice.) […]


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