My Own Worst Enemy

Here are a few of the things I’ve done today, apparently because I’m secretly scheming against myself.  If someone out there is sticking needles into the “rational decisions” section of my voodoo doll, please do me a solid and ease off.

1. Was given a Sham-Wow as an odd work gift.  Senselessly told the gifter […]

    Food Critics…

    [Editor’s note: we were having chili.  My recipe, prepared by Dave.]

    JULIE: [takes bite]

    ADDIE J [horrified]: Mommy, NO!!  Don’t put dat in you mouth! It’s gross!!!!!!!



    GABBY: …..She’s right, Mom.

      Scenes from this morning….

      *Gabby was brushing her teeth in my bathroom, when I realized she was actually staring into the mirror, motionless, with her toothbrush in her mouth.  I said, “What are you doing, Gabs?” and she answered, “Seeing if my teeth will brush themselves.”

      *Cameron was doing his hair (also in my bathroom) (no, I don’t […]

        Quotes from New Orleans

        Here are some random things the kids have said during our trip to Mardi Gras.  I don’t even know what is up, frankly:

        “Mommy, are there any horse races going on tomorrow?” -Gabby

        “P-p-p-poker face…. p-p-poker face..” -Addie J

        “I want the one with the feathers because it makes me look sweet.” -Gabby

        “How […]

          GEAUX SAINTS!!!!!!!

          As a former New Orleanian, I have been completely excited and hopeful regarding New Orleans’ chances in the Super Bowl.  And I have patiently borne the jabs of a certain friend of mine, constantly referring to them as the ‘Aints (you know who you are).  I normally sit pretty quietly during the Super Bowl, […]

            Tobin, My Mortal Enemy

            Please note the crazy eyes and the jagged, jagged teeth. This is how the J sees me.

            Our friend Tobin loves to give gifts to the kids.  Hilariously terrible, noisy, lightup toys that kids will love and parents will hate: lighted necklaces and remote control cars and vibrating soap (no, really) and just random stuff that he […]

              I’m Taking the Kids to Chili’s.

              I realize what Gabby is wearing.  Trust me, this is the least ridiculous outfit she has run by me in the past thirty minutes.  I know that, without that context, it seems like I should be reported to DCFS for letting her out of the house in a patriotic tshirt, blue-and-green dress, candy cane leggings […]

                More Addie Chronicles

                I’ve added some more chronicles to the archives; click here to go to the latest group of posts.  I had forgotten about my love for the name Donovan and my sister Jill’s subsequent crushing of that love. 

                More to come….

                  Quotable Quotes

                  JULIE: [minding her own business]

                  ADDIE J [stomping up to Julie]:  Mommy?  Gabby just ruined my life upstairs.


                  ADDIE J: Mommy!  Gabby ruined my life upstairs!!!


                  DAVE: Addie, you’re fine.  Just go upstairs. 

                  ADDIE J: Daddy, tell Gabby not to ruin my life.

                  DAVE: Gabby!… Don’t ruin Addie’s life, okay?

                  GABBY [from […]

                    Frank Discussions, starring Addie J

                    Dave and the kids had to stop by a retail place today, and the person behind the counter apparently had a giant zit.  So as they were all standing there, Addie J suddenly focused in on the nose, then said, “What is wrong wif you NOSE??”  Dave said he tried to redirect her, but […]

                      Page 1 of 212