Gabby has been writing me poems in the car; she keeps a notebook and pen to write down her thoughts as she has them. As far as I can tell, she has no dearth of thoughts. Here’s her latest poem (I admit that I’m paraphrsing; it’s still in the car and I’m too lazy […]
Actually, there are two, and both are from the J. First of all, I picked her up from school and tucked her into her car seat. As I was buckling her in, she sighed and said, “Mommy, I love you sometimes.”
Also: we received our October schedule from preschool. Addie went through it with me; […]
Cammy showed me two ways that he has me outmatched today. I was talking with Gabby’s Irish Dance coach and, as we were leaving, I called back, “I agree!” Cam said to me, “Don’t you mean, ‘I concur?’ ”
….And I kinda did.
Then, we were all singing the Tiger Song from “The Hangover” […]
So over the weekend, Dave was all, “Did you sanction this activity, with the kids making a haunted house upstairs?” I said, “Yes, it’s fine. They’re fine. Don’t worry about a thing.”
Probably too many words, as Addie J says, because Dave got suspicious that I had been engrossed in something, and the kids said to […]
My sister Jill uses me as her own personal Google. Whenever she wants to know how to make chicken teriyaki, or what’s 30% off $23.95, or which is the best route to the museum– she texts me. Therefore I am accustomed to getting this kind of request from her…. but this morning I came downstairs to my […]
JULIE [in line at drive-thru]: Addie J, what do you want on your hot dog?
ADDIE J: Just ony ketchup!
JULIE: ….and one with ketchup only, please.
[A few moments later]
JULIE: Here you go, J. Hurry up and eat this, because we have Irish Dance and soccer and–
ADDIE: Oh, NO! Mommy, dis is […]
…because I only just managed to keep a straight face during this incident: I heard my older two kids fighting, intervened, and was told that Gabby accidentally hit Cameron “in the wrong area.” Already suspicious, I asked where and Cam said, making quotation marks with his fingers, “Well, as Gabby says, ‘right in the kiwis.’ ”
A long time ago, Cammy changed his name to Net Horserider. Even little Gabby, who was maybe three at the time, was in on it and corrected us indignantly every time I called him “Cameron:” “No, Mama, dat’s NET!!!!!” she would tell me earnestly. These days, Cammy prefers to be known as Cam rather […]
1. Your 4-year-old daughter, plunging the toilet.
2. What is actually going on in that toilet.
I’m sure there are others, but right now I’m too traumatized to think of anything else.
So, you know how some families go around the dinner table and each tells something about their day? You know how it’s all heartwarming and sweet, and everyone is happy and feels all warm and fuzzy afterward? We tried that mess last night, and it turns out we’re immune:
GABBY: Hey Dad, guess what happened […]