Do You Know What Happens….

…..When you’re at the bank and you fumble the little space capsule that takes your stuff to the teller and back, and it falls and rolls under your car? Whose doors you cannot open because you’re in the bank drive-thru, and you can’t pull forward because that’s where the capsule rolled, and you can’t […]

    Oh. My. God.

    So I was minding my own business and trying to make meatballs despite the help of Addie J, when Gabby said to me out of the blue, “Hey Mom- don’t you like Thundercats?” I looked up. “Yes, I LOVE Thundercats. Want me to do Uncle Mikey playing Lion-O as a kid again?” and I […]

      Jo-Hairing the School Supplies

      One of my mom’s nicknames is Jo-Hair. It comes from my dad’s nickname, Ro-Hair, and I cannot explain either one to you at this point. Anyway, I’ve been working on school supplies this week, and as you already know I am flummoxed by how many supplies everyone needs. I’ve begun editing the list here […]

        File Under: Things That Will Suck.

        I’m headed upstairs to sort through the girls’ clothes. As soon as I told them we would be doing that, Gabby immediately wnet to her room to pull aside clothes that are way too small but she still wants to wear them (if you’ve seen her today: that skirted bathing-suit bottom she is wearing […]

          Bureaucracy, Exhibit C: Wireless Network

          JULIE: Hi, I need to add an international plan to my phone for these dates, please.

          SERVICE REP: Okay. I see that your account was recently transferred to your name. I’ll need to ask you a series of identification questions.

          JULIE: Really? Even though it was only transferred from my husband’s name to mine? And […]

            Bureaucracy: Exhibit B– the Ice Cream Shop

            Important to know: just asking for a brownie sundae is not enough information to get you one of these.

            JULIE [at the drive-thru]: …..and a brownie sundae.

            INTERCOM [as though I’ve asked for a Serenity Surprise or something equally nonspecific]: Do you mean a Brownie Delight?

            JULIE: Is that a brownie sundae?

            INTERCOM: […]

              Bureaucracy: Exhibit A

              JULIE: Can you help me? I’m looking at the published meetings schedule, and it looks like I’ll need to be in two places at once. Is there anyone else in this situation?

              ORGANIZER: Um, I don’t think that’s possible.

              JULIE: Hmm… can you take a look at this event? I’m involved in that event.


                The Wheel of Karma Favors Me. Kinda.

                …..Karma has rewarded me for yesterday’s insane blood donation debacle. I won kids’ passes to the 1985 Chicago Bears training camp at Soldier Field!

                ….BUT karma wants me to remember that donating blood is supposed to be a selfless act, because I have an unavoidable conflict that day. I have to recruit another adult to […]

                  And This is How We Get Ready to Go to the Water Park.

                  CAM: Mom, can I go outside?

                  JULIE: No, I need you guys to get your jobs done so we can go to the water park.

                  CAM: What!?!?!?!? We’re going to the water park today?!?!?!?

                  JULIE: …Yeah. You know, how we’ve been talking about that for a couple of days now?

                  CAM: Ohmygosh YOU GUYS […]

                    School Surprise

                    I began sorting school supplies this evening and was pleased to discover that we already had about 50% of the list, thanks to extras we had plus a neighbor’s gift of some unused supplies. I continue to be amazed, as every year, by how very many glue sticks the kids go through. I have wondered every year […]

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