This is What You Get.

When I ask Dave to bring home three grocery items and he insists that I write him a list– and then stands over me and harasses me the entire time– well, honestly, this is what happens:

In case you’re wondering: he cracked up hysterically and gave me a high five. We are very […]


    This morning, as I was showing Cam how to make eggs and Gabby was gathering her lunch, she suddenly stopped in the middle of the kitchen, looking around. I caught her eye and she said, “.. I forgot where the fridge was.” Confidential to the guy who parks facing the wrong direction; the mom […]


      Think about it.

      I know you think that hairstyle of yours is “retro.” I need to tell you that you are confusing “retro” with “dated.”

        Happy Birthday, Dad!

        My dad is 69 years old today. He should be here, celebrating with us, and smirking while my brother makes dirty-minded comments about Dad’s age. Instead, he’s with his own big brother (probably smirking while my uncle makes dirty-minded comments about Dad’s age). We’re going to meet up tonight for cake and ice cream in Dad’s […]

          TLC is Truly the National Enquirer of the Airwaves.

          I just watched this TLC clip of “My Strange Addiction,” start to finish. I dry-heaved exactly three times. I’ve got to believe that this is a prank aimed directly at keeping me from eating like, ever again.

          And, honestly, producers of TLC: so now you are exploiting people with OCD behaviors; baby pageant contestants; […]

            Second Annual Michigan Weekend

            Last year at this time, my dad was buried in a beautiful military funeral. This was about ten days after his death, and everyone was still in a state of shock. I don’t recall exactly how it came about that we pulled it together so quickly– but after the funeral, the entire extended Giampaolo family traveled […]

              The Peapod.

              So I have this coat. It’s awful. I mean, I’ve had it for like a century, and it’s totally unstylish and completely awful. AND it’s the warmest frigging coat I’ve ever had in my life, so I’ve refused to get rid of it over Dave’s annual protests. Dave refers to this coat as The […]

                What. The Hell.

                These things have all happened within the past twenty minutes:

                1. Gabby used a dishtowel to clean up the water that Guinness just puked all over the floor. You can imagine my totally horrified and disgusted reaction. I said, “Have you ever used a dishtowel to clean up puke before?? And which towels did you […]

                  Sometimes, I Am Just Not Up to the Task.

                  I found this in the kids’ bathroom:

                    I Am So Beloved.

                    Earlier this morning…..

                    JULIE: Okay, I’m off to the gym.

                    ADDIE J: YAY!!!!!! Thank you, Mom!!!!!!!!


                    ADDIE J: …I mean: I love you.


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