Ways to Be Annoying in the Morning

ADDIE J: Mom, what is this on my foot? Is it a splinter?

JULIE: I don’t know.  Come here and let me se.

ADDIE J [climbs awkwardly into chair with me and sticks her foot an inch from my eyes]: See this little thing here?

JULIE: Well, hold on, let me get a look at […]


    ADDIE J: Mom, angels are really good at superhero-ing.

    JULIE: Yep.

    ADDIE J: Because they’re dead.


    ADDIE J: Dead, Mom.

    JULIE: You’re really freaking me out.

      On Kids’ Shows

      How the hell is this a show? This looks like any one of the sheets of paper currently strewn across the art table.

      Have kids’ shows always sucked?

      Really. I do remember being a kid, and watching kids’ shows, and I remember them being not too damn bad. Even the cartoons (which we […]

        What’s in a Name? *UPDATE: It’s In!!!!!!

        Or they could always go with “Rogers Nelson.” I’m just saying.

        I absolutely cannot wait to hear what little Prince Cambridge will be named. I think the whole thing is fun and adorable, and the little interview that William and Kate did on the steps of the hospital actually caused the cold, dead […]

          My Influence, Ladies and Gentlemen.

          Case. In. Point.

          JULIE: Addie J, why don’t you let me help you wash your hair? It’s got so much junk in it from the feis and I don’t think you ever really got it out.

          ADDIE J: Okay, thanks. [submits to a brisk head scrub]

          JULIE: There you go. Clean as a […]

            I’m Not Well-Suited for Hospitality Services.

            Our very good friend was our house guest last night. And this morning, I got to utter the following phrase: “Good morning! I’m just killing this gross bug I found in the trash can. Oh– and the refrigerator isn’t working! Enjoy your stay!!”

            I’m probably not meant to own a bed and breakfast.



              Gabbyism: It’s a Brain-Breaker.

              This is actually my exact expression right now.

              GABBY: Hey Mom, know what I found out yesterday?

              JULIE: What?

              GABBY: That Despicable Me 2 was a live-action movie in the 1920s.



              JULIE: ……No it wasn’t.

              GABBY: No, I saw some of it! It really was! It was a live-action movie in the 1920s!!


                Dirt Hoarding Update: There’s More.

                “We must protect My Precious with mulch.”

                I’m pretty sure that I mentioned (in my last update about Dave the Dirt Hoarder) that, after all of the free dirt was dispersed and judged to be inadequate to fill Dave’s dirt needs, we ordered 6 more yards of dirt. Cam and I spent two days helping […]

                  Kid Birthday Parties

                  “I want to take my friends to a movie for my birthday,” said the J. “And then I want pizza and cake.”

                  Fine. Sold. One afternoon at the movies, followed by pizza and cake. Done and done.

                  ….. And then:

                  ~We had to move the party time up to accommodate movie times.

                  ~Moving up the […]

                    Stuff I Can’t Believe I Have to Say, Part 17 Million

                    Yesterday for some reason was a treasure trove of sentences coming out of my mouth, where I immediately thought, “I can’t believe I had to say that.” Here are some examples for you. Enjoy!

                    1. What?! No. Underwear and shorts are two different items. They are not a “one-or-the-other situation.”

                    2. Where’s your snack […]

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