A bit of holiday illness derailed our original plans. Well, I shouldn’t say “derailed” but rather, “adjusted.” We had our usual out-of-town holiday celebration, followed by a bigger-than-usual Christmas Eve. Then, in place of Christmas Day at my mom’s house, we had a crazy day of displacement: after morning gifts under the tree, we […]
Silliest, funniest, most fun dad in the world. Merry Christmas, Dad.
Wishing the best of holidays to you and yours. As always, remember to raise a glass to my dad tonight. (Blue Moon, if you have it. Or Guinness. Otherwise, as my dad would say, “I’ll take whatever you […]
CAM: Here Mom, try to play this.
JULIE: What is it?
CAM: Well, it’s called Crossy Road. See this little dog? He wants to cross all these streets. JULIE: CAM: So you help him cross… like this… avoid the cars… go over these logs in the stream….. JULIE: Frogger? CAM: No, it’s called […]
If we’re going to start World War III over a movie, we should pick one that doesn’t look like total and utter shit. Sony, please look up from your hacked emails and take note.
Confidential to Aaron Sorkin: always helpful to be reminded about closet misogynists.
This photo is not at all representative of my experience.
So Angelina Jolie has chicken pox. (Note: remember that time you got sick, and CNN featured a story about the nature of your illness? –Me neither.) When I read this headline, my first, unadulterated reaction was to shudder, and to wish her luck. […]
This is the sort of thing they ask for.
In some ways I’m grateful that I always have to stretch to find things that my children would like for Christmas; it’s way better than having a trio of brats bent on conspicuous consumption. However, it’s also difficult: the items they do want tend […]
Sometimes I have a problem shutting up, okay? Especially if I think that what I’m about to say is funny, I have trouble keeping it to myself. Case in point: a few years ago, I mentioned in passing how I feel that grown women should never refer to themselves in the third person, and […]
Did you all know what it means to “five-star” someone? One of my students was talking about it and I had to ask. Then I said, “Is that something I should have already known?” –They all said, “Yes.” Just me? So I didn’t watch “Peter Pan” last night. Instead I snuggled with the […]
I miss my dad, randomly tossing out quotes from “Christmas Vacation” at this time of year. He was always good for a hilariously timed, “Shitter’s full!!” when you least expected it. It never stopped being funny. This is for you, Dad. I can just see you now, arms folded, little grin on your face, musing, […]
I have a serious hate on for Elf on a Shelf.
I am not interested in creating additional messes and then cleaning them up.
I have enough to do.
Plus, you know what kind of dolls move around your house and create havoc while you’re sleeping? EVIL ONES. HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN A HORROR MOVIE????