For Your Consideration:

You know those parents who lament their children’s crazy fashion choices? And they’re all, like, “Oh nooooo– McKiley and Hudsyn wanted to wear mismatched leggings and shirts today! It was such a disaster!” Well, this is the outfit that the J was DEAD SERIOUS about wearing to school today.

McKiley and Hudsyn are […]


    Gabby and the Girl Scout Cookies

    Gabby ordered a box of Thin Mints from her friend. This past Friday I had a meeting downtown, which ended just as a massive accident on the highway would destroy my chances of getting home at a reasonable time (see how I made someone else’s Really Bad Friday about me? It’s a talent I have). […]


      It’s a Dog Bed. A DOG Bed.

      My mother-in-law, Kathy, is very talented with her sewing machine and has made us many cool items over time– from a beautiful quilt for me, with the kids’ photos printed on the fabric, to a comforter for Cam’s bed, to a mustache-print skirt for the J. She has made Gabby not one but two […]


        Why I’m Grateful for Cammy

         I want to tell you something about Cam: that kid is the most awesome boy I have ever met in my life. I’m grateful for him every day. Here’s why: he cried and rarely slept for the first four months of his life, and then he stopped crying but he didn’t start sleeping. I took […]


          Yesterday…

          I stapled my finger, found out that my son is officially taller than me, and we had to do a trade-up of rain boots for all the kids (meaning that Cam needs new boots). I also had a super-frustrating conversation with the woman who took our family photos last fall and has so far […]


            Nice Try, Dave.

            JULIE: Hello?

            DAVE: Hi! So I’m listening to the radio, and I just heard that women who match their bra to their underwear are happier people.

            JULIE:

            DAVE: So I thought you might benefit from that information.

            JULIE:

            DAVE: Matching underwear.

            JULIE: Wrong number. [click]

             


              Addie J’s Creative Lyrics

              This morning I practiced my poker face, while Addie J sang me her new lyrics to the song “Demons Hide.” Imagine a seven-year-old in her owl jammies, alternately staring you down and performing an interpretive dance, during the following (the melody is an eternal recycling of the first four bars):

              I see a spider

              It […]


                Grand Gestures

                Kim Kardashian Instagrammed some photos of herself with the 1,000 roses she got for Valentine’s Day. Apparently, Jordin Sparks beat her by getting 10,000 roses (Kanye West is probably going to go on a rant about how his roses for Kim came from Gucci, therefore they’re better #nodisrespecttojasonderulo). I know of at least one person who […]


                  Story Problem

                  We all know how our online activities dictate, to an extent, the advertisements we see on the sides of our web pages, yes? –Well, I was looking up Olympic coverage this morning, and for my consideration, I was given the following ads:

                  New dishwashers Cake decorating classes Luxury rehab clinics

                  Now I ask you: what the hell was Dave […]


                    My List of Valentines, in No Particular Order

                     

                    Exact replica of how our torte turned out.

                     

                    the adorable Valentine decorations that Christine brought over for the kids a nonfat, no water, extra-hot chai from Starbucks (I know how annoying that order is) the dimple in Addie J’s right cheek my king-sized pillowtop mattress the way Gabby giggles […]


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