The Best Gift

A bit of holiday illness derailed our original plans. Well, I shouldn’t say “derailed” but rather, “adjusted.” We had our usual out-of-town holiday celebration, followed by a bigger-than-usual Christmas Eve. Then, in place of Christmas Day at my mom’s house, we had a crazy day of displacement: after morning gifts under the tree, we […]

    Merry Christmas!

    Silliest, funniest, most fun dad in the world. Merry Christmas, Dad.

    Wishing the best of holidays to you and yours. As always, remember to raise a glass to my dad tonight. (Blue Moon, if you have it. Or Guinness. Otherwise, as my dad would say, “I’ll take whatever you […]

      They Should Bring Back Punch-Out.

      CAM: Here Mom, try to play this.

      JULIE: What is it?

      CAM: Well, it’s called Crossy Road. See this little dog? He wants to cross all these streets. JULIE: CAM: So you help him cross… like this… avoid the cars… go over these logs in the stream….. JULIE: Frogger? CAM: No, it’s called […]

        Let’s be honest here.

        If we’re going to start World War III over a movie, we should pick one that doesn’t look like total and utter shit. Sony, please look up from your hacked emails and take note.

        Confidential to Aaron Sorkin: always helpful to be reminded about closet misogynists.



          I Feel You, Angelina Jolie.

          This photo is not at all representative of my experience.

          So Angelina Jolie has chicken pox. (Note: remember that time you got sick, and CNN featured a story about the nature of your illness? –Me neither.) When I read this headline, my first, unadulterated reaction was to shudder, and to wish her luck. […]

            In Search of Sushi Socks

            This is the sort of thing they ask for.

            In some ways I’m grateful that I always have to stretch to find things that my children would like for Christmas; it’s way better than having a trio of brats bent on conspicuous consumption. However, it’s also difficult: the items they do want tend […]

              Self-Censoring and Scary Elves

              Sometimes I have a problem shutting up, okay? Especially if I think that what I’m about to say is funny, I have trouble keeping it to myself. Case in point: a few years ago, I mentioned in passing how I feel that grown women should never refer to themselves in the third person, and […]

                Friday Bullet Blog

                Did you all know what it means to “five-star” someone? One of my students was talking about it and I had to ask. Then I said, “Is that something I should have already known?” –They all said, “Yes.” Just me? So I didn’t watch “Peter Pan” last night. Instead I snuggled with the […]

                  Know What I Miss?

                  I miss my dad, randomly tossing out quotes from “Christmas Vacation” at this time of year. He was always good for a hilariously timed, “Shitter’s full!!” when you least expected it. It never stopped being funny. This is for you, Dad. I can just see you now, arms folded, little grin on your face, musing, […]

                    Just a Reminder….

                    I  have a serious hate on for Elf on a Shelf.

                    I am not interested in creating additional messes and then cleaning them up.

                    I have enough to do.

                    Plus, you know what kind of dolls move around your house and create havoc while you’re sleeping? EVIL ONES. HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN A HORROR MOVIE????

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