The Impossibility of Gifts for Dave

When I was a kid and we asked Dad what he wanted for Christmas, he always told us to buy him razor blades and shaving cream. We always thought that was bullshit. “But I don’t want anything else,” he used to protest. “If I want something, I get it.” It was always frustrating to […]


    Morning Conversations

    [It is 6:23am.]

    JULIE: I think we should get shoes for the dog.

    DAVE: Okay.

    JULIE:

    DAVE:

    JULIE: ….Is that the first thing I’ve said to you so far today?

    DAVE: Yep.

     


      Random Sunday Interaction

      JULIE: I have a burning hatred for autoplay.

      GABBY [walks up behind Julie, starts crunching ice in her ear]: You should come up with a better word than “burning.” You need to improve your vocabulary, Mom.

      JULIE: ….I need to improve my vocabulary??

      GABBY: Yeah, you do.

      JULIE: [knocks Gabby’s cup of ice out […]


        Life With Gabby

        This is the exact jar. It still contains salt.

        GABBY: Hey Mom:

        JULIE: Yes?

        GABBY: Can I have that jar that the pink salt is in?

        JULIE: What do you need it for?

        GABBY: I’ll find something appropriateĀ to put the salt in?

        JULIE: ….Um, before I address that idea: what do you need […]


          The Fifth Christmas

          We had our annual holiday brunch over the weekend. As usual, it was a great day celebrating the season with our friends and family. That evening, I logged onto Facebook to see that, exactly five years ago, we held our brunch on the same day. Here’s the photo I posted from that day, in […]