When I was a kid and we asked Dad what he wanted for Christmas, he always told us to buy him razor blades and shaving cream. We always thought that was bullshit. “But I don’t want anything else,” he used to protest. “If I want something, I get it.” It was always frustrating to […]
[It is 6:23am.]
JULIE: I think we should get shoes for the dog.
JULIE: ….Is that the first thing I’ve said to you so far today?
JULIE: I have a burning hatred for autoplay.
GABBY [walks up behind Julie, starts crunching ice in her ear]: You should come up with a better word than “burning.” You need to improve your vocabulary, Mom.
JULIE: ….I need to improve my vocabulary??
GABBY: Yeah, you do.
JULIE: [knocks Gabby’s cup of ice out […]
This is the exact jar. It still contains salt.
GABBY: Hey Mom:
GABBY: Can I have that jar that the pink salt is in?
JULIE: What do you need it for?
GABBY: I’ll find something appropriate to put the salt in?
JULIE: ….Um, before I address that idea: what do you need […]
We had our annual holiday brunch over the weekend. As usual, it was a great day celebrating the season with our friends and family. That evening, I logged onto Facebook to see that, exactly five years ago, we held our brunch on the same day. Here’s the photo I posted from that day, in […]