No Elf.

elf-memeOnce again, my Facebook feed is crammed with pix of people moving a weirdo stuffed elf around their house. And once again I will congratulate myself for never doing this. The elf is more than a little creepy, but I can handle a little creepiness if there’s a payoff (spoiler: there isn’t). However, the main reason I don’t have an elf is that I have enough to do. I’m not setting my alarm thirty minutes early, so that I can sneak around the house, creating stealth messes for myself to clean up later. As far as I can tell, it would be fifteen seconds of, “Oh, look what the elf did today!” –and then the kids would recommence asking for Lucky Charms for breakfast (spoiler: no). Meanwhile, I’m stuck sweeping up flour or taking toilet paper off the tree, or freaking whatever. And whatever you do, it’s not even that special! The kids will get to school, and their classroom elf has turned all the desks upside-down and tracked paint all over the chalkboard and left candy canes on everyone’s chairs. Whatever you did at your house, it was forgotten before you even typed “Pinterest elf ideas” into your search engine.

Because it’s like a sentence: you have to do this EVERY DAY. You can’t just do it once, like our St. Patrick’s Day leprechaun tracks on the kitchen table, followed by cleaning it up and off to drink green beer. No:¬†as soon as that elf hits the shelf, it’s a daily grind of new vignettes, and each must be more fun and whimsical than the last. I’m not participating. I put my foot down. The elf sucks and everyone knows it.

But by all means, continue to post your pics. I do look at them. They solidify my conviction.


    1 comment to No Elf.

    • Julie W

      I’m right there with ya! We have a gang of elves who watch the goings-on at the house and fill the Advent calendar every night. Provided the behavior warrants a goodie of course!

      I have a hard enough time remembering to fill the calendar, nevermind coming up with hijinks for a creepy little bendy dude that I will have to clean up!

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