I love my husband….BUT…

Dave is on the B List this week. Last Thursday, inexplicably, he decided to take some cereal and milk to eat in the car. So he got in with a plastic cup full of Froot Loops and milk, set it on the center console, and said, “Wait– let me buckle my seatbelt first, so I don’t spill this all over the car, heh heh heh.” Buckled up, reached for the cup, and immediately knocked it upside-down all over the center console. [To truly understand what this is like, you might go pour yourself a nice big bowl of cereal, add plenty of milk, then go out to your car and pour it between your front seats.] Froot Loops everywhere; milk ran down into the console and disappeared forever underneath. Dave muttered under his breath and, just as I was leaning over to look at the carnage, jerked out some paperwork he had just placed between his seat and the console. I was splattered with milk and fruity-o’s. Dave said, in his crabbiest, least sincere voice, “Sorry,” and stomped back into the house for something to clean it with.

I was steadily finding this funnier and funnier, and Dave was steadily getting madder and madder. He came back out of the house with baby wipes for cleaning out the car (?!?!?!?) and started tossing soggy Froot Loops in the driveway. I started to ask him to throw them into the yard, but thought better of it. Finally he slammed back into the car and said, “Let’s go. And stop snickering.” Fortunately he was seeing a little bit of the funny side by then, so I was able to start laughing.

Well, I’m not fricking laughing now. The car smells like that sippy cup you find under the couch after a week. I’m not terribly squeamish when it comes to spoiled food, but this morning I opened the car door and actually gagged at the spoiled-milk reek. And since all the milk ran under the console, there is absolutely no way of getting to it to clean it out. (I have a beef with the console anyway: for some nonsensical reason, Dave removed the garage door opener from the visor and VELCROED IT DOWN INSIDE THE CENTER CONSOLE. Why??? Why??!!?!?!)

In conclusion, I am never buying Fruit Loops again.

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