Does Anyone Know?

*Why does it take me less than 10 minutes to get both of my girls into and out of the shower, dressed, and ready for bed…. but if I ask them to hop into the shower and get wet while I run downstairs for 10 minutes, they only manage to untie one shoe apiece?

*And speaking of showers, just what IS Cameron doing in the shower,when all that clatter can be heard from the hallway? And what exactly was he doing the other day, when the shower curtain actually came down, water was all over the bathroom and he had 6 pounds of soap in his eyes…. but his hair was dry as a bone??

*Why do the kids sleep like little spoons in a neatly arranged drawer when by themselves, but the instant they get into their parents’ bed, nothing but lying perpendicular will do?

*How can the kids remain totally unware of Dave’s periodic, “Guys, we’re going to start cleaning up in 20 minutes…. Guys, cleanup in 10 minutes… 5 minutes to cleanup time…” and be taken totally by surprise to be told that it’s time to clean up– yet they can hear me opening a Hershey’s Kiss through 3 walls, up the stairs, and over the blaring Shrek soundtrack?

*When will I learn never to give Addison suckers in the car? Really. Can someone please perform an intervention on me, because I can’t seem to process that one on my own.

*At some point, will Gabby stop putting together outfits that belong in a Jackson Pollock painting? And if that’s never going to happen, then will Dave ever stop thinking it’s cute, referring to it as her “Punky Brewster look” and letting her wear it to school when my back is turned?

*And my final question of the day: how does anyone expect me to get anything done, when there is so much Christmas shopping to do??

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