Something’s Wrong Here.

This morning, I was innocently checking out ugly tattoos on the Internet finishing up some work for next semester, when Addie J started calling me from upstairs: “Mom!  Help!!!”  I said, “What’s wrong?” 

“I’m dead!”

I looked up.  Mostly I was thinking, “Why would she say that?  What does that even mean to a 3-year-old?  I’m definitely going to have to talk to her siblings,” when Addie came tottering dramatically into the kitchen, eyes half-closed.  She collapsed onto the floor in front of me and lay there.  Then she opened one eye, squinted up at me, and we regarded each other solemnly for a moment. 

“Pick me up!” she whispered.  Fine.  I picked her up, where she remained limp as a rag doll.  “Are you okay?”  I whispered, and with her last breath came this reply:  “……donut…..”

“Donut??  You’re dead because you want a donut????”  I said.  “No, you can’t have a donut.  Obviously.”  And she went limp in my arms again.  Gabby strolled by and remarked, “JJ and I do want donuts, but I’m not going to die without one.  But JJ is.  Can I have some Ranch dressing and baby carrots, or can I have this can of soup?” 

I looked at the clock: 8:37.  And I thought, how is it that I already have no idea WTF is going on??

PS– Dave just left for donuts.


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