paint“Let’s paint a picture on this canvas!” I said. 

“Sure, go ahead and make hand prints on it!” I said.

“Nah, don’t worry about that towel,” I said.

“Or that one.  Or your shirt.  Or your face….. or the table… the chair…. the floor….. please don’t touch the wall…….why is there paint on your fee— no, please do not get down.  Do NOT get down.  Give me one sec– “[crash] “Was that your water?  Did the mug break?  No, it’s okay….. just give me one second.  No, don’t get up–  is that paint on the dog?  Who painted the dog?  Who painted the dog??  No, seriously– DO NOT GET UP.”

In retrospect, I could have saved us all some time and simply thrown a bucket of paint at them.

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