Happy Memorial Day!

I know, I’ve been gone all weekend and I didn’t post that I was leaving. I realize it’s blogger etiquette to tell the readers when I won’t be posting for a few days, and I am very sorry I did. Here, as a reward for patiently waiting for me to return, is a random bullet blog for you:

1. My little Irish Dancer Gabby won 2nd place in the Reel competition and 3rd place in the Treble Jig competition over the weekend! I’m SO proud of her. She competed against 15 other girls from across the country– I had a conversation with one dad whose family was from Atlanta, Georgia. So now she advances to the next level of competition. (Or something. Please remember that I actually cannot tell the dances apart, so don’t look to me to explain all the intricacies of the competition levels. I just show up and clap.) I also kept thinking about Toddlers and Tiaras- my goodness, some of those dancers are tricked out. Most of them are appropriately low-key, but I did watch one mother aggressively applying lip gloss to her bewigged, tiaraed, false-eyelashed, gold-and-pink solo dress with a kajillion sparkles-wearing daughter– while lecturing her on how “You have to look perfect to get a leg up in this competition! You have to look perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and wondered at what point this stopped being a fun thing that her kid liked to do a couple of afternoons a week.

2. Six kids are in the backyard right now, playing with the hose. I have been called to the yard to adjudicate hose usage so many times that I am on a freaking hair trigger. Last time I went to the back door, Gabby said, “This isn’t about the hose, Mom– it’s about whose turn it is to use the hose.”

3. Some friends and I went to see our friend Ann in her brilliant turn as a bunch of supporting characters in a play over the weekend. My favorite part was when her frilly blouse popped open (as it has apparently done several times before… hello, costume designer? What’s up with that?) and Ann contrived to keep it closed for the rest of the scene. Her experience with that was clear to see, by the way.

4. There is currently an omelette pan containing an egg on the dashboard of my Saab, which is sitting in the driveway in full sun. The boys are hoping to cook it. Actually their original thought was to hard-boil the egg by placing it, whole and unbroken, in the middle of the driveway. I’m considering cooking an egg on the stove and switching it out when they are in the back.

5. On second thought, maybe I should scramble it. Or dye it green first, something to make them wonder about the alchemy of the Saab.

6. Speaking of the Saab, I’ve noticed that, although I generally don’t care at all about cars as long as I get where I’m going, I have developed quite the fondness for the Saab. Even its various idiosyncracies don’t bother me; in another car I might be like, “It’s so annoying that the lock button is only on the center console! I hate this car!!!” but these things actually kind of endear the Saab to me further. I’ve named it The Swedish Bitch, in fact, with great affection.

7. But if for some bitchy Swedish reason it does not pass its upcoming emissions test, that will fail to delight me.

8. Off to cook and then swap out the egg. I’ll report back.

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