Crappy Easter!!

Easter Bunny, my ass.

Here’s a secret for you: I don’t really like Easter. I don’t know what my problem is, really– maybe I never got into it because I think jelly beans and Cadbury Cream Eggs are gross. I just am not a fan. Plus, in true Julie and Dave Didn’t Think About How This Was Going to Play Out Over the Next Fifteen Years fashion, at our house the bunny has to elude traps set by the kids and leave trails of jelly beans from the kids’ rooms to their baskets downstairs. And since I bitch this hard about one night a year, it should be no surprise that I want nothing to do with that freaking Elf on a Shelf. I make P-L-E-N-T-Y of messes in the house on my own– just this morning I dropped a can of Pam, which landed on the button and sprayed olive oil all over the kitchen floor including under the stove. And that’s just one example, from just a couple of hours ago!! Clearly I do not need some elf to be emptying out my closets and throwing flour around the kitchen.

I could go on… but Addie J just opened the garage door to retrieve her coloring pages from the car, where she left them after we returned from the gym. She screamed, slammed the door closed, and came running over here yelling, “MOM!!!!! You do NOT want to see what I just saw in the garage!!!!!!” She’s right, of course. I really don’t. But given how I’ve been dissing the only rabbit-themed holiday, and the fact that The General doesn’t like troublemakers, I should probably find out if that terrifying 3-legged rabbit has come back for my soul. [Update: it was a bee.]


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