It’s Wednesday and I Can’t See.

I’ve been having strange issues with my newest box of contact lenses for my left eye. Each lens is meant to last for a month (“….on paper…” as my friend Shea says– who, like me, simply wears them until they bother me). The first lens I took out of the box lasted about 2.5 weeks, but whatever, sometimes you get a dud. The second lens lasted about five days. I’m on my third lens– so I’ve gone through a 3-month supply in 3 weeks. Something, obviously, isn’t right.

But I am not helping. Because yesterday I chopped a very, very hot jalapeno pepper from our garden. Then I washed my hands. Hours later, I again washed my hands extra-carefully before attempting to remove my contact lenses for the day. It felt like this:

I posted on Facebook, because I am a baby, and felt much better after horrifying my friends with my painful mistake. This morning, because apparently I don’t understand how molecule transfer works, I put those exact same contact lenses back into my eyes:


…..And did I take them out? My friend Shea, fellow Contact Lens Tightwad, knows the answer to that one.


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