I know. I’m so early with this, right? Let me tell you why: a friend of ours stopped by a few nights ago for drinks. At one point, I needed more ice in my drink. I glanced over at my friend’s now-empty glass, with plenty of cubes left, and thought, “If I wasn’t such a germophobe, I could just use his ice, and I wouldn’t have to get up….. huh. Maybe I should work on this germ freak thing.”

You are reading that correctly. Pure laziness has inspired me to stop being such a germ freak. As my husband delights in reminding me, germophobia doesn’t remain static– it tends to grow over time. Certainly mine has (although I honestly believe that the invention of antibacterial hand gel has seriously detracted from my ability to handle germs. I mean, it’s just so convenient! It’s like you never have to deal with public grossness!). Anyway, I really don’t want to wind up saving jars of urine and walking around with my feet in tissue boxes, which– if I don’t do something- could happen sooner than you think (say, next Wednesday). Therefore I have decided that, as my way of welcoming 2010, I’m going to reverse the trend and start embracing the germs of others. I’ll begin by addressing my aversion to sharing drinks.

Those of you who know me personally are laughing your asses off right now, I realize. I don’t share drinks with anyone, and that includes my husband and children. My family loves to gross me out by pretending to drink out of my beverages, then watch me act like it didn’t bother me (but in reality stop drinking out of it until I can reasonably throw it away). This just from someone I know and love, only pretending to drink my drink. But I’m going to start small. I’m going to create an exclusive list of people whose drinks I will sip from. Dave says I have to write down my list, or else I’ll start changing it in my head as a way to avoid sharing. He’s absolutely correct. I’m not sharing my list with anyone because I really don’t need to hear crap like, “Why didn’t I make your list? What’s wrong with MY germs?” Honestly: I will have an answer to that question, and you won’t like it. So if you see me out and about and you want to test the waters, offer me a sip of your drink (please just do a quick wellness check first). If I take it, feel free to congratulate me on my bravery. If I refuse, do us both a favor and don’t ask why.

So that’s the plan. I know how interested you all are in my germ freak progress, so I’ll give you updates from time to time.

I give this a 50% chance of epic fail, by the way.